APP SURVEY

5. Please fill out this IC survey:

what is your name

Handsome Jack. Yes, the Handsome is part of my name, you should be able to tell that by looking. Don't ask dumb questions, alright?

tell me about your family

Why don't you tell me what the bones of your arm look like? Yeah? You don't know? I could help you out with that if you want. No? You don't wanna? That's what i thought.

where do you see yourself in five years

Still in this freaking weirdo city, apparently, and for the record, that was definitely not my goal in life. But when you think about it, civilizing a bunch of crazy people from across time and space is waaaay more of an impact than just civilizing a single planet, right?

Especially with the immortality and everything. That's pretty cool.

please describe an event that changed your life / shaped you as a person

Hmm... oh, oh, yeah, I got it. I was at this party, right, and there was this one chick, super hot—and incredibly into me, obviously, that part should really just be taken as a given—and we were there at the bar, and she's half in my lap—and already getting off on it too, hah—when her boyfriend walks up. Now, I'm a good guy, not into the cheating thing, so that's usually when I cut things off, occasionally in the literal sense. But this guy. This guy was even more into me than his girlfriend. Actually, she might have just been picking me up for him? Not that it was any hardship for her, I mean. Clearly. Anyway, that was a life-changing night for sure.

do you have any regrets?

Regrets are for lesser men who dwell on the past. And stuff. Whatever. Next question.

when you look into the sun and realize that the light from it is from a far away star hurtling through the cold vastness of space and compared to that you're an insignificant speck of dust to the cosmos much less greater powers that may have shaped our reality, how do you feel?

Is... Is that a thing? Is that a thing that people do? Wow, some people are real downers. Usually I look into the sun and realize it's powered by hydrogen fusion, a power that was harnessed by humanity ages ago. And I've got power over humanity, so really you could say I'm more powerful than the sun. Just to start with, I mean, we can get into the whole cosmos and powers that be thing, but, ehh, I'm really still just getting started.

Heh, I'm just kidding. I don't look directly at the sun, because I'm not stupid.

do you have any questions for your parents/god/teachers?

Yeah, when do we get to take this all up a notch? The shop's great and all, really the center of the city's culture and whatever, but I bet we could expand. There could be a chain. Franchises. New towns springing up in the middle of the desert or forest or whatever the hell there is out there, sparked by a single coffee shop. Sounds great, right? Yeah it does. All my ideas are great.

(no subject)

LuXe

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THE EXPERIENCE

Handsome Jack wasn't the first owner of LuXe, but in the time he's been in charge—a year? two? maybe more?—it has become what it is today—expensive, certainly, but clean, comfortable, and serving high-quality coffee precisely to your order.

Operating hours are 5am-9pm.

NOTE: Handsome Jack is ostensibly still in charge here, but Rhys (partcompany) has been doing the real running of it since about day 27. Weird.

THE CAREER

LuXe is always hiring dedicated applicants for a variety of positions, and the pay is among the best in the city!

If you want your character to work at LuXe, they don't have to talk to Jack—in fact, Jack would rather not be bothered with the day-to-day hiring process of all the service personnel. If they apply in person to the coffee shop you can assume an NPC manager hired them, or speak to one of the other PC employees. Just be sure to comment below so you can get added to the list for everyone's reference.

Working at LuXe means long hours, no breaks to speak of, and strict punishments for slacking or underperforming. Some of the front-line managers are slightly less fascist about this than Jack himself, and will schedule you for mostly-sane shifts and just give you strict talking-tos, but there's always an impression that you're getting off easy with this, and some of those managers don't last long. Other times you might end up scheduled for a 16 hour shift with a 5 second lunch break. And, if you do badly enough to gain the attention of Jack himself (or are just in the wrong place at the wrong time), well...

the break room

There is a door labeled "Break Room" in the back, but it's always locked. Jack is the only one with a key to it. The rumors say that sometimes people do go in there with him, and when they show up to work the next day they always seem rattled, nervous, unwilling to say anything about it, and eager to avoid any mistakes.

Sometimes they don't show up to work again.

The Break Room is a torture room. It is full of swinging blades, wood chippers, acid traps, or whatever other over the top death machines Jack thinks would be funny that day. If you are interested in a trip to the break room, we can work out the details.

LuXe & YOU

Comment on this post if you have any questions about the specifics of the coffee shop, would like to work here, or anything else!!